I finally had my first Red Bull. Usually around mid-afternoon, I go to Second Cup and get one of their coffee slushies but today, they're out. Entering the convenience store, I noticed a big display in the cooler for Red Bull. Okay, I figured, I've avoided this craze long enough. I shouldn't sneer at a fad without at least trying it, so I bought one. The size and shape of the can reminded me of gas line anti-freeze. Then I tasted it. (I haven't tasted gas line anti-freeze but I suspect the two are similar.) It was like drinking fizzy cough syrup. I didn't grow wings. I didn't float away on a cloud of inner peace. The only sensation I noticed was a distinct emptiness - in my wallet region.

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